…that on September 10th, 2008 we had a positive pregnancy test? Did you know that on September 17 we were sitting in the office staring at the baby wall waiting to once more be diagnosed with a miscarriage? Did you know that on September 17th we saw Kennedy for the first time? She was the smallest little dot. Not even a flicker. I was 4 weeks pregnant and we needed everyone to pray. Did you know that on October 6th we were back staring at the baby wall waiting to be diagnosed with a miscarriage. Just my mom and I sitting there with tears in our eyes, trying to be brave, but praying as hard as we had ever prayed on the inside. Did you know that on October 6th we saw Kennedy’s heartbeat for the first time. It was small and slow, but our “dot” was a little bigger and actually a little flicker. Did you know that on October 20th we went in and sat in front of the baby wall with hopes and dreams that maybe, just maybe, that our baby would be on that wall. Did you know that on October 20th our baby had a heartbeat, a brain, and she even looked kind of human like? Did you know that today on September 30th, 2009 my baby is on that baby wall. My baby is here breathing and very much alive on September 30th, 2009. I am so thankful every day for my beautiful little angel. It was such a long hard road, but we are here. Parenthood. It is just great! I don’t know that anyone ever truely recovers from losing babies at any stage in the game. I know I won’t. I still have a chip on my shoulder when I hear about teenagers getting pregnant, or newlyweds accidently getting pregnant, or even people that get pregnant the first try. I will never look at the “baby wall” with joy and hope and celebration. The “baby wall” will forever remind me of the feelings of dread and dispair that I so often felt in 2008. I will never hear the words “habitual aborter” without getting a little teary eyed. But if it weren’t for all those miscarriages Kennedy wouldn’t be here today. She is my fighter and my miracle and will forever be my heart. I love you Kennedy Jaye!
Archive for September, 2009
In home day care
Sep 27
I love that there are less sick kids
I love that there is one person who knows all about kennedy
I love that it is in a home
I love that she is loved
I love that there are only 4 other kids
I don’t love that the baby sitters daughter has the flu so I’m having to find a back up sitter. Hello motherhood!
Who would have thought that an ear infection would make a mom smile? Sure I am now a little worried that Kennedy will forever fight with her ears. Sure thought of tubes and surgery immediatly popped into my mind. Sure no one wants their child to have anything wrong with them. Friday I have never been so happy to have a doctor use those words. Ear infection was the answer to why Kennedy had been so sick, the answer to why she was getting worse not better, and best yet the answer that a prescription could heal. Now twice a day we fight down 1 teaspoon of hot pink medicine into our little girl. This is not a fun process at all and she ends up wearing most of it. She gags. She spits. She cries. But today for the first time in a solid week she feels better. Thank you Dr. D for helping my little girl to feel better!
Here are some fun videos for your viewing pleasure:">
/0.jpg" alt="YouTube Preview Image" />
">/0.jpg" alt="YouTube Preview Image" />
Here are some of the pictures of Kennedy’s first cereal:
H1N1? Flu? UTI?
Sep 16
Let me tell you… having a cotton swab stuffed up your nose hurts… bad. Yes I now know this from experience… and to make matters worse I have seen it done to my 4 month old daughter. We both have a virus that just makes you run a fever. It comes and goes and as soon as you think you are doing better, it hits you harder. Seeing Kennedy tested for the flu, RSV, blood count, and a UTI was the most painful thing I have ever had to watch, but I am so greatful for the thourough examination by our pediatician. Acutally it was our pediatricians partner because our pediatrician just had a baby! (Congrats Dr. D and family!) After all of the tests were negative (for both of us) we came home with Tylenol for her and Motrin for me. The other odd symptom? Green poop (for her not me). I mean this girls poop is Crayola Green. They said this is proof of a virus in breast fed babies. We are hoping that we are now on the road to recovery. Kennedy hasn’t had tylenol since this morning and I am planning on returning to work tomorrow. I am a little concerned that Kennedy isn’t wanting to eat today, but she is smiling and even giggled once. I love my little girl so much and I can’t stand to see her sick.
I have a few thank yous I need to say here. A HUGE thank you to the Thompson family for finding a new Giraffee! We have started alternativing them so Kennedy will have a back up in case something happens to one of them. I am sure it wont take long for new giraffee to have a matching chewed horn (yes I looked it up… they aren’t antler they are horns.)
Also a huge than you to Mrs. Dottie for taking care of Kennedy and me yesterday. I couldn’t have done it without her and having someone go to the pediatrician with me was a HUGE help.
We did get some new Kennedy stats out of our trips to the doctors:
Weight: 12 lbs 6 oz 23rd percentile
Length: 23 1/4 inches 16th percentile
Head circumferance 15 3/4 inches 24th percentile
Kennedy enjoys:
- tutus
- Giraffee
- ugly newborn paci
- newborn size nipples on her bottles
- laughing at Deedee and Daddy
- talking, talking, talking
- sitting up like a big girl
- she DOES NOT like being held like a baby
- She LOVES the rattle her daddy bought her
- she can grab things with her hands (rattles, Giraffee, Mom’s glasses, etc)
- And biggest news yet…. as soon as she is well we can introduce cereal!
Do you ever feel like you are standing still and the world just keeps moving faster and faster? I feel so lost at work. I feel so lost at home. I can’t find the right way to juggle work and my new home situation. In my previous life I would get to work every morning at 7:00 and there were many days the custodian staff kicked me out at 7:00. I gave every ounce of myself to my students. They were my kids and I put my heart and sole into making them the best they could be. This year my priorities have taken a different path. I don’t get to work until 7:40 because I like to help get Kennedy ready in the morning. We actually fight over who gets to change the first diaper because she is SO happy in the morning. After work I have to leave by 3:30 to get her from daycare. I spend every minute with her once we get home. We cuddle on the couch, change diapers, play with her toys, and finally she goes to bed around 11:00 (I know it is really late for a baby, but when I put her to bed earlier she wakes up earlier….like 3:00 early.) I don’t have time during the day to get all the planning I need to get done. This year I don’t get a planning period, I don’t get time to eat lunch, and I am really having trouble finding time to pump. My goal is to breast feed for a year, but I am so worried about my milk supply. Does any one know the rules about pumping while at work? Is it my job to find a break? Are they suposed to supply coverage for my class during this time? Are there any rules to cover me? I am really stressed about how to juggle my new life…
